Sunday, March 18, 2012

My first experience at 'White Girl Wasted'

I am trying to think of the best way to open up this blog post. I cannot think of anything clever to get the grasp of what exactly happened on my very first St. Patricks Day celebration. 

Let's just jump into how exactly I got 'White Girl Wasted'
The starting point of my fantastic tutu's for me and my 2 other Patty's day bitches

I had to obviously have the best costume in order to rock out losing my St. Patricks Day virginity

End result!

Brandon and I got a hotel room at The Davenport to make sure we could get as wasted as we wanted then stumble back into our hotel room, to whenever time that would be

My spray tan that I got beforehand seemed to attach itself mostly to my upper lip. I do not have a mustache in real life. 
I wanted to get my orange on since i figure Leprechauns are orange I need to fit in

Got our room on floor 14, which I think is really stupid because you know we are really on floor 13 but all that superstitious crap really must get the best of hotels, I am sure if I jumped out the window, I would fall 13 stories even though I am on the 14th floor. I will die earlier

We did have a nice view of stupid trains. Just what I wanted after I stare at trains all day long at work and now I get them right outside my window.

Time to get ready for St. Patricks Day
My awesome giddy-up and oh ya I rocked this all day long!

Brandon only had his Sounders jersey for green and everyone we met was bugging him asking if he was from Seattle! It was rad, who wouldn't want to be from the best city on earth?

Brianna and I handing out shot glasses and flyers from her work, in our awesome outfits! dancing down the street to the bar, best walk I have ever done in my life, especially the 2 shots of fireball we were given and some jello shots from these crazy bitches in the parking lot

I wasn't even wasted yet and I was trying to take a picture cross eyed, this didn't work that well and this is how it turned out, of course I ended up sending this out to my dad and he couldn't stop making fun of me and saying what a drunk ass I was...this was my first beer! (after those shots)

Now I think I was starting to hit my edge

Now I never realized that St. Patricks Day is a little like Mardis Gras and granted if your show your goods you get some goods. Well, since I am going to be a married woman soon, these nunga nungas aren't coming out anymore. 
So my friend Nikki and I had to do 20 sit ups while drinking a beer in order to get some beads

There are no words...

I am pretty much wasted by this time where we head to our friends camper out in a parking lot and starting taking shots of who knows what. People are pouring and I am just grabbing and shooting, over and over and over again. 

I don't remember much of this part but my 3rd girl in her tutu showed up and I was already out of my mind drunk and informed her I needed food. We started drinking at 8 am and this was 12 and I haven't eaten 1 thing. 

Melissa tells Brandon that she is going to take me to get some food, he hands me my ID and some money. 

I guess at this point I am losing everything. I handed my phone off to someone and asked them to hold it. 
I left my ID in someone's jacket.

Melissa got me some yummy italian and actually it wasn't bad the second time I had to taste it either

I was being force fed food in the back of her car and felt that rumble, this wasn't going to be good. 

I try and start puking with my head out her car door while everyone is standing around partying still. 

I cannot throw up with clothes on. Ever. Ever. Ever.

I strip off my skirt, my wig, my over shirt and start getting ready to blow my brains out with vomit. 

Didn't happen. 

Brandon walks me back to the hotel at 2:45  IN THE AFTERNOON!
I barf down the side of the bed cause you really have to lean over to make it into the garbage. 

B leaves me to get some food around 4.



He was gone for 9 hours, but did bring me back the most amazing bleu cheese burger which I couldn't force down but the smell alone was freaking amaze balls.

He of course wants to sleep, I just threw up my entire life and am ready to rally again, but I have no phone. No ID, no pants...guess I am not leaving

I wake up in the morning and am ready to get home to sleep the rest of this hangover off.

That is a ripped up Sour Patch kids box. No sour patch kids left though.

The dogs were penned in the laundry room and broke the gate down, ate the box and the kids, broke a glass candle holder, pooped all over the throw rug, and now won't stop running around.
Must be the kids

After cleaning the entire living room and laundry room I am finally settled down and start finding out where all my sh!t is.

thank god my friend's had my phone, I guess I threw it at them and told them to watch it for a bit...hmmm

My friend Brianna found my ID in her coat

I found someone else's jacket in my hotel room...

And then found some videos and pictures on my phone that I sadly couldn't post online.

But I did find these ones
I am slowly finding all my belongings as the day moves on, and I get reminded I have a hair appointment at 6...can I bring a cocktail to this?

I can not wait to read everyone else's stories, but i literally got "white girl wasted" I was told by everyone that I "was the sh!t show"

I am going to take that as a good thing since I had all my friends there to watch my clothes, hair, ID, and phone. I didn't fight anyone, nor do anything illegal. 

My first St. Patricks Day

I am never drinking again.


Victoria said...


I laughed the whole way through this... I haven't gotten that drunk in God knows how long, although I did get pretty wasted at a gay bar the other night and ran out of gas at 5 am in the middle of nowhere... hahahahha

sounds like you had a blast wish I would have been there!!!!


Kristine said...

Hahaha you're such a badass! I love you!

Holly said...

Taylor. love.
I am dyinggggg. hahaha

dottie said...

Oh man! You did get white girl wasted!

We've all been there. By tomorrow you should be feeling human again.

Love your outfit!!!

Annabelle said...

haha! Reading this made my day! I love your outfit! Glad you had fun! You'll be back up to par soon and be ready to do it all over again!

Pamela said...

Hahahah love this!!!

Amber said...

you are singing my song, girl. I can't tell you how many good times I have missed cuz I am an ooc party animal who shoots her wad too soon. #partyfail but man I am a good time. And obvs, so are you! Someone left behind a bag of vodka at a party the other night and someone asked Jim the next day if it was mine. It wasn't but now I know everyone thought I was the drunk bish who brings a bag of vodka to a party. wow.

Rebecca said...

hahaha best story ever!!! gotta love gettin some west girl wasted ;]

Cami Collazo said...

You know, I’ve been in quite a few hotels before that skipped the 13th floor. It’s not sensible for me ‘cos, technically, it’s there – they just didn’t put the right floor number on it. Anyway, so much for that. I think you really own the leprechaun costume. :D So, I guess it not really a ‘white girl wasted’ drama. Cami Collazo ^.^