Thursday, November 22, 2012


I felt like a huge f@#$ing pimple late.y A little down in the dumps and putting it out here, when I want to be the one you come to for a laugh, a giggle, a great conversation. 

I am thankful I have followers who I have connected with on such a deep level during the past few months. I am turning around today! 

I am thankful that my dad has taken me and all my crazy sh!t into his retired home with open arms and my 2 fur children.

I am thankful that same dad makes me a lunch everyday and cuts the crust off my sandwiches to take to my new job. 

I am thankful my sister has opened up out of her shell and realized how beautiful she is and what a wonderful heart she has. I have never felt so much love for her when I read her Facebook and every single post a friend has put on her wall starts with "I just love you so much and you make me feel so special"
I love reading what a difference she is making at 16 in all these other girls lives. 

I am thankful for my mother listening to all my drama, crying faces, potty mouth and still can be my rock my knight in shining armor. I just wish she lived closer to me so I could hug her everyday.

I buy neutrogena body oil just because she uses it. So when I miss her too much I can smell it and be comforted

These are the 3 people in my life who mean the absolute most to me. I love both my parents to death even when they try and be parents and I want to be 5 yrs. old again sometimes. They are still amazing. 

My little sister is incredible with an incredible heart and I am so jealous of the way she carries herself and puts her aura into the world. I know she will grow up into a fabulous woman.

I am so thankful for my bloggy bestie Holly She is definitely a rock in my life who has been going through similar experiences to me and her keeping her head up makes me keep my head up. We finally got to meet in October at Disneyland and she just makes my heart happy.

I am thankful for blogging and bringing women into my life that I talk to more than I talk to my "Real Life" friends. It is great to know I have this support system, I have vents, I have people who when my head starts floating into space I know I can log in and know I have almost 500 people who will talk to me. Who I would love to help them through every problem in their life. I open my arms to anyone who wants into my life. I love this, I wouldn't give it up for anything.

I love all you beautiful bitches who I get the honor of talking to on a daily basis. 

Eat some Turkey, Mashed potatoes, NO VEGETABLES! 

Happy Thanksgiving! 

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

The Boyfriend Application...

This is Tay-woww's boyfriend application! Ladies, give me your singles!!

Ok, ok I didn't mean like that...

I was thinking more of something along these lines...

I have come out with this "Boyfriend Application" I am desperate to find my one! They always say when you're not looking that's when it happens...well I moved to po-dunk crappy Spokane wanting to be single and BOOM! someone landed into my life..and brutally F$%^ed it up.

Alright alright, So let's just get to the application. Although they better be willing to put up with my shenanigans as long as they know I do offer foot rubs...

Question 1- Are you single?
-If yes. You're done
Question 2- Fill in this sentence "I would like to___________ on your _______________but your friends will think I'm ______________ but not to worry cause I will win them over by ___________ I will always be at your ___________ and promise to ___________ you everyday.
-If this has nothing to do with spoiling and loving my friends. You're done.

Question 3- Are you working? And by working people rely on your to get a job done, it's not for yourself but you are contributing back to society in someway and your job doesn't entitle anything along the lines of "Do you want fries with that?"
-Then you're done.

Question 4- If you were to be eaten by a cannibal but could choose how they would cook you, how would you be prepared?
-Medium rare. Or you're done

Question 5- Do you own any sex toys?
-You're done.

Question 6- do you ever think you would be using those on me, after they have already been used?
-F&*^ off

Question 7- Can you see that their are to  many grammer mistakes in this sentence, irregardless of the context?
-There, two, grammar, irregardless. Bam.

Question 8- How much time between texts do you think is appropriately labeled "timely matter"? 
-if this is more than 60 seconds. You're done. 

Question 9- Would you say my boobs are small are big?
-If you noticed quickly. You're done

Question 10- Do you have a picture of your ex?
-You're done

Question 11- Am I prettier than anyone you have dated?
-If don't wanna know

Question 12- Am I funnier than any of your exes?
-Answer Yes.

Question 13- Can you toss your own salad?
-Get the F out.

Question 14- What is one thing you can't say no to?
-This only better relate to me

Question 15- When I have a hard day at work are you going to send me flowers, chocolates, candy gram, a real life unicorn with Channing Tatum?
-I think you get a good hint

Question 16- Would you always make me first? Call me, text me, but leave me the hell alone when need be?
-yes. or you're done

Question 17- Is the price ever too high to keep me happy?
-No. or you're done

Question 18- If I tell you I have a crime scene in my pants, what is your first instinct?
-better get your ass to the store and get me some jumbo elephant sized push pop tampons, ben and Jerry's half baked, a tub of Papa Murphey's cookie dough, and something fluffy.

Question 19- When I come home what is your first thought?
-damn, this is the hottest, most intelligent, joyful, outgoing, hilarious, non self-centered woman I have ever known and she is all mine, and I will walk through miles of sh!t to keep her.

Question 20- You are promising to bring me a lifetime of happiness, and I you. I want to be treated like the woman I am, what I am worth. Spoiled and of course I would spoil you back. Don't ever deny me from any...... don't tell me that anyone else is prettier than me. Don't tell me about your exes. 

I think if a man an handle all of these handle all of this. I will take him

I would love for some creative questions. As I am totes using 98% of these on potentials right now.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Love at first..blate? and treasure hunting!

I wish I could say my own 'personal" treasure was founded this weekend. 

but it wasn't so moving on.

I had an AMAZING Blate with fellow blogger Kenzie she is so fricken sweet and made me feel like a fricken giant! but I swear I am not as tall as I look.

Thanks for making me look so beefed up Kenzie!!

See!!! I look huge!!! like Godzilla and I am just storming around the puget sound knocking over buildings, breathing fire over everything, and get the point.

Kenzie and her wonderful boyfriend introduced me to 'geocaching'

 Geocaching is an outdoor recreational activity in which the participants use a Global Positioning System (GPS) receiver or mobile device[2] and other navigational techniques to hide and seek containers, called "geocaches" or "caches", anywhere in the world.

Seriously...this was SO MUCH FUN!! I felt like a real life explorer!! give me some knickerbockers and  a telescope, I am a modern f$%^ing Christopher Columbus...

We found 3 in the area of piers around Red Robin, the first one was a micro 'geocache' it was this teensy little magnet thingy stuck under a random table that overlooked the sound with the piece of paper that you write your geocache name inside and place it back.

Ya, really?!

Then I had to embarrass myself by groping the sh!t out of a seagull, I had a couple of bloakes walk by asking me if the damn bird was a boy or a girl...or maybe what it was having??
Oh I think he liked it...

Then the mighty octopussy was on our list.

oh sorry about the type..octopus. Damn fingers!
he was a fiesty one!

but we made it out alive with another geocache to my list. I have yet to keep finding more, but I am going to be an excellent geocacher!! You're going to be so jealous of my geocaching skills it will be unreal!!

Either way, Kenzie and I had an amazing time together, we fed the homeless after our explorer adventures! 
She is a positively divine sweetheart! If you aren't following her! you best be now! 

I would have gone on more about what I did Saturday...but I somehow had a hormone overload with that damn nuvaring and I was incapable of doing anything besides listening to my dad's jokes about the movie, The Ring and how that girl climbs out of the television and if when I start the ring, if that was going to happen...

thanks Dad for always making me smile, even when you are being gross.

Don't even tell me you bitches didn't smirk a bit thinking about some long hair freak climbing...

I won't go any further

Tomorrow I will be asking for boyfriend applications.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Did I really spend 6 hours doing...

I am sure a lot of you have either skimmed craigslist or even sold your own things on craigslist. I am helping out a friend who needed some things sold. 

Nothing you ladies would be interested in...

Except maybe some never been used brand new in the box snowboard bindings? GNU size Large

Alright, so as I am posting a bunch of these for sale ads and trying to check out the competition, I somehow clicked on "men seeking men" I have never ever seen that stuff on Craigslist

I must not have been looking hard enough.

haha! Just kidding I am just not the type to look for a partner or a relationship with someone by an ad. Of course I see some of the most 'hilarious' 'ridiculous' ads on there on how they get a partner to respond. Some with pictures!! 

My eyes were burning on some of them, well this lead to an in depth conversation with one of my male friends who would be interested in finding another male to decode this secret craigslist language.

My post is really going nowhere except I was on here for 6 hours!!! Just reading everyone's ads.

I have no life

Well, only then to bring me to check out the men seeking woman...what exactly do guys write on their craigslist post to make all the ladies 'swoon' over to them…?

1st title "If you like it hairy I'm the one 4 U"
With pic including a severely hairy individual.

2nd title "Married seeking long lime lova"
Seriously?! You just throw it out there like that? I would love to respond and meet up and pull some sneaky shit to find their wife and let them know what a POS their husband is. 

3rd title "Looking for a make out partner"
This person just wants to make out. His statement is complete with "you must be a good kisser, not interested in anything else, I would just like to make out."

4th title and by far the best!

Cuddly bear seeks cute bbw for a delightful romp

I couldn't contain my laughter just reading these and you can only imagine what was behind this post.

I don't know how I would feel about meeting someone or the type of people that actually get in contact with these people with a post like that. 

It pretty much summed up my day and if any of you ever need a good laugh or a pick me up to feel better about yourself. Read the "Men seeking Men, Men Seeking Woman" ads on Craigslist guaranteed to lift you out of any rut! 

Monday, November 12, 2012

I am 24 years of age.

Happy Birthday Weekend to ME!!!! I had an amazing time and couldn't have asked for better friends to take me out!

I will have to let pictures speak for themselves with small captions because some of them you may be like "what the F is going on"

Friday, November 9, 2012

Small family and friend get together in the south end at my dad's house with tacos and cheesecake. I can't stand regular cake so either my birthday cakes are cheesecakes or ice cream cakes, and then only eat the top of ice cream part

My little sister

Kristine drove all the way from Duvall to be there for my birthday dinner! 

 Ashley and Jessica took me out to downtown Tacoma...wasn't as crazy as I thought, I was almost hoping for a drive by because the bars are completely different then what I am used to in Seattle.

I had fun nonetheless and these girls are utterly amazing
My shimmy shake!

Saturday, November 10, 2012


My girlfriend Calle completely se up bottle service, a booth, and VIP access to a downtown club called Tia Lou's. I think is it fantastic, the people are classy I think it's a little more higher end. Or that may be that I just hang with higher end people.

We started out with mexican food at Mama's before getting all dolled up for Tia's

I had a legitimate flyer!! Everyone loves feeling special on their birthday

Heading out to Mama's
Best mexican food Belltown has to offer

This was going to be the birthday dress...
but instead we crammed my tits into this 'shake ya tail feather' dress that looked amazing but holy boobies. Again.

Tristan and I...I was not digging my red lips. My friend said they were amazing and she drew them on me, but I felt like my mouth looked huge! I already have big square teeth I don't need a huge boca on top of it


I don't think I need to explain what these are. except that some people kept saying the middle one was balls. obviously not. So for those who need help from left to right is a hoo ha, nunga nunga's, and an oozing volcano.

come on...what did you think was going to happen?

 Hottest bitches of bell town!!
Oh ya I was starting to feel it

The amazing people who made my birthday the best! 
24 is going to be amazing! I pledge that right now!

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Seahawks Vs. Jets

It was bitter cold today!!! bitter to the bone! but we made it through and pull out the win!

My hair is dark brown now, but holy shit it looks purple in this picture

 Last touchdown of the game!!

The finale of my birthday weekend!! Honestly I can't wait for 25! Haha! not to get older but my amazing group that I associate myself with have taken amazing care of me!!!!!

Thursday, November 8, 2012

I am officially a Godmother!!!

One of my very best friends, Trisha who her and I met at a spa and became instant friends immediately! 

A lot of people think we look like twins...what do you think?

She is the one on the left, just FYI! 

Well she had a gorgeous baby girl, Lexis Lynn who I am absolutely in love with and take such good care of her every time I head to Trisha's to hang out, as so..

Letting my Cyri lick the inside of her mouth.

I'm already a great god-parent...

(Don't worry I immediately stopped Cyri after I took this picture)

Lexis was cracking up the entire time though.

But I have been hanging out with Trisha a lot since I got back to Seattle. Her daughter absolutely lights up when she sees me, she reaches for me when I go over. She laughs so hard uncontrollably when I toss her up in the air.

I don't care if she does this all for her parents too, she does it for me and it makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

She picked me!! Trisha calls me yesterday and tells me how amazing she loves me and how Lexis lights up when she sees me, and thinks i am considerably great with her daughter and would love for me to be her godmother. 

I actually cried! This was the best night I have had in a while! 

I had to share that I am officially a godmother and this little love muffin will have the best godmother i can be!!

Signing off Lexis Lynn!!

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Seahawks take another win!

Seahawks are looking mighty fine out there!!

5-4 baby!!!

Can anyone say Marshawn Lynch?! he has got some absolute leg power! But i was very impressed with Vikings, Adrian Peterson! Man that guy!!! I am at a loss for words...good job Minnesota on picking him up, but thank you for not kicking our ass and giving us a fantastic game!

Number 24 and I'll be 24 on Saturday...this was destiny!
First MN touched down
Then SEA with Golden Tate on the receiving end
SEA again Mr. Sidney Rice
Adrian Peterson on MN to get the score 14-14
Field goal bringing those Vikings to the top of our scoreboard 17-14
Golden Tate(Sea) again! Boom shack a lack! 17-20
MARSHAWN LYNCH touchdown!!!
Vikings can take their pity field goal since they just couldn't map it down the field
Seattle takes their last field goal Making the ending score 20-30 SEATTLE SEAHAWKS!!!

The night concluded with Fuzzy Moon's and Duck Farts

Let's be clear that the saying "Beer before liquor, never sicker and liquor before beer have no fear"  I drank 2 fuzzy moons before my friends decided we were going to take 2 shots of duck farts. I wasn't wasted or drunk by any means, I had a nice buzz but holy sh!t worst stomach ache in the world, inducing vomiting was not happening. Next week we welcome the Jets to the Clink! I have to say I believe my Hawks will stomp them as well! 


Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Remember that game, "I've Never"?

We all have played that game "I've Never", Correct?

If not i feel bad for you because it was the ultimate game along the lines of spilling all your truths and I used to play it in band class all the time.

1st chair tenor saxophone, what what!

Ok so if you haven't played "I've never" you put up both hands...jazz hands
Every time someone says, "I've never..." you put a finger down if you have done that thing the other person said they have never done.

You want to have the most fingers up by the end of the game, or last person to put your last finger down.

alright so we clear on how this works...

I am going to put X amount of "I've Nevers" up and if you have never done 1 of these things you are probably GOD.

I've never....

-put someone down
-made fun of a person's looks, personality, dysfunctional family
-how someone else lives
-purposely victimized someone whether by words or physically
-deceived someone close to me
-talked shit about someone based on another's opinions
-stalked someone just to laugh at their expense
-seen the silver lining 
-hurt myself to make me feel better
-hurt others to make me feel good about myself
-failed at something I was so proud of
-given up
-been cheated on
-made myself look better for someone else instead of myself
-changed my life to appease another
-listened to that statement, "If you don't have anything nice to say don't say it"
-used a friend
-made plans and cancelled
-forgotten an important date
-had an embarrassing moment
-photoshopped my pictures to make me "hotter"
-taken a person's words out of context to use against them
-verbally or physically abused someone
-hurt my body to look better for society
-taken a stranger's words to heart
-used foul language
-had a typo
-made someone cry themselves to sleep
-made an ass of myself
-started a fight I couldn't finish

A lot of this list is from the heart and some ideas from close friends. Bullying seems to be the number 1 thing that goes on and it breaks my heart to see kids being bullied in school, at home, online, etc. So they take their own life. How would you feel being on the end where you know you have made someone feel bad about themselves either directly or indirectly? I know I would never want that burden on me.

I put up the I've never and whoever reads this if you have all 10 fingers up by the end of this, please tell me your secret.

If not maybe rethinking what you say before you say it will come forward just a little bit. I know I have been on the receiving end of some of these, but I have dished out my fair share as well. 

I don't want to be that kind of person. I walk around tall and head held straight but I will help anyone that ever needed it. I want to be the type of person someone can lean on, talk to, and confide in. Not putting down, making fun of, or purposely hurting someone's feelings. It can't ever let anyone feel good about themselves. Just take into consideration small things like this. 

Don't worry be happy!

Monday, November 5, 2012

My birthday month!!!

November is the most fabulous-o of the months! I love the changing of colors, getting ready for Thanksgiving, and starting to bundle up. 

Granted I love the feeling of being in a bikini but I love being in cute sweaters, boots, and some skinny jeans! 

I was born November 10, 1988 I am a full blown Scorpio and proud of it! 

You could be frequently defending your values or your worth these days, dear Scorpio, with Mars in your solar second house. It's a great time to work on self-esteem issues. You are no longer on the offensive, and that is important, but do avoid being too defensive. You might be more confident about pursuing money during this time, but could also be prone to impulsive buying. Today, your emotions run more deeply than usual, and while you can get very hung up on an injustice or a resentment if you're not careful, you can also choose to pour your energy into something more constructive. Creativity: Good; Relationship: Fair; Business: Good

Ok tell me this isn't the most perfect horoscope for what I am going through. My marriage failing, not working, and searching for any ways to make money. 

The impulsive buying...So my new diet has been stress! Seriously girls this works!!

Just get stressed out is Step 1
Worry about every little thing until you are so morbidly sick to your stomach is Step 2
Then voila you fit into pants you never thought you could! Step 3!

Easy right?!

Just kidding! I do not recommend this but it has worked for me. I went from a size 2 to a size 0 in just a week! 

Fits perfectly and I don't look like a busted can of biscuits, although my arm right on my side looks like a chunk's not. 

I wish I could tell you I bought these amazing pants in this amazing size..but I did not. I had to buy the size 2 because I know once I am back being my super happy self instead of faking it, the weight will come back and I want to be able to wear these pants. 

But damn it feels like a f$%^ing good birthday present to know in my head i can wear those!

Ok enough of the big headed-ness! I am so stoked for my birthday, my good friend, Calle has planned out an entire night at Tia Lou's in downtown Seattle! No cover! No drink charges, No lines! So every blogger that is in the Seattle area is welcome!! I would honestly love to have a bloggy meet up there on my birthday!! 

I am excited to be turning 24, i do hate the getting older part. But I love what comes with being 24, you are no longer looked at as a child but somewhat of an adult. I have been getting carded less and less, which is nice cause I tend to not have to bring my ID with me and shove it in my bra...but then I feel like I look too old, but whatever! I'll look the way I look! 

I am 1 year away from being able a car..? by myself...that's an accomplishment...haha! 

I would say I would love to have a baby at 24 but we all know that's not going to happen. So we can just move on. 

I have been more acceptable to drinking wine. By myself. Out of the bottle.

I have thought about getting a cat.

Alrighty for some pictures! 

Junior Prom

Pre boobs!!

Senior year high school

 I had to rock those cholo eyebrows and pink lips! 

 First road trip to Leavenworth 

19th birthday

Way too much make up and dumb ass 2 blonde streaks
Mexico with my brother and older sister
 November 8, 2009...2 days before I was 21 and my dad found this picture when he went to the next Seahawks game and it had the date on it, not that bad but he was a little disappointed

 22nd birthday dinner
 22nd birthday night!

 I wish I could say that was Cristal...but it was probably Andre...but it was it was good
Perfect 22nd birthday gift

The last present of my 22nd birthday was being taken to my 1st Sounders game!

We won't get into my 23rd birthday since it ended in a proposal that never lasted. I told him I didn't want him to screw up my birthday, dammit!! 

Oh well 24 will have amazing things to come, I am already ready to take on anything being thrown. I have a positive attitude and a huge personality! 

I for-see some trips being taken to meet some other fellow bloggers...cough cough-Chicago(AMY)