Friday, December 21, 2012

A case of the mean reds

Everyone knows what getting the blues are

You're sad, you're getting fat, it's raining, you're just pathetic in general and everyone else around you knows it so why are you even taking up space in this world and sucking oxygen from other people that need it...

ok that was harsh. 

The mean reds from the lovely Miss Holly Golightly (Audrey Hepburn) talking to the every so sexual Paul Varjak that's V-A-R-... you would know where this is going if you have seen the movie

I have a case of the mean reds today. Since starting this new adventure in life I was thinking that my magical unicorn that I rub everyday for good luck would bring me a huge pot of gold and I would be set for life. 

Fuck no, and I'm chopping that bitch's head off, or horn...whichever part is not granting my magical wishes.

Or in my case the mean reds is more like a crime scene in my pants (NSA) I have been a ragin bitch but then a crying mess, this is the first THE FIRST womanly experience I have had in 3 years! 

Thank you Depo!

but it sucks, my insides are falling out. I cannot pound enough water!

But I want to end this as quick as possible...
Being as clean as possible!

how can you end this monstrosity??

Clean the sheets, you don't have to do it everyday like I have been, but I feel just so completely gross and my skin is 10X more oily to keep from major breakouts I wash my sheets, my skin has been so clear through this thing which is a blessing right now!

I look like a meth head normally.


Water is my savior! My aunt flow is more like giving birth to a COW!

Water has lessened that to wear maybe I look like I'm giving birth to a...goldfish?

I know they don't really give birth, just work with me

Snuggle a live animal against your stomach

I think my dogs hate me,(get over here bitch and lay on my belly!!!)  but honestly the heartbeat and warmth of their bodies, feels amazing all night!!! then I don't have to worry about those water things that stay hot. They get cold and are bound to leak. I don't want to wake up to that shit and thinking or even feel like I have been laying in piss all night.

Dogs are much more snuggly too.

Yell at strangers

Does anyone else get in that mood where you just want to deck someone in the face?!

I don't want to lose any friendships so I went to the local mall today, where everyone is a hoity toity bitch having to buy their child the best items for Christmas. 

remember I'm po' now. Nobody is getting shit from me.

So I  walk around and no one will talk to me! I don't get said hi to in any store I walk in. So me being miss. period. walk to the counter and tell that snot face teenage girl who thinks her shit don't stink how I spend all this money at this store and I don't get a greeting?! I went ape shit! I made a scene, acted like Julia Roberts Pretty Woman.

Then I went in my car and cried then went to McDonalds and got the biggest McFlurry ever.

You probably didn't learn anything from this, but these are some things to help get through those type of MEAN REDS!!!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Girl I am steering clear of you ;D Hope you cheer up buttercup!