Thursday, December 20, 2012

Strange Sex

I have been out there exploring our different sex species and I am not liking what I am seeing.

What happened to men?! Is there no 'country song' guys out there? 

 your ass is hanging out of your pants, hat is on sideways and every other word out of your mouth is, "That's filthy"

You my dear are filthy. Not the way you are thinking. 

This is constant around here I think too many people have lost their jobs and then revert to acting like children.

I have been studying some sex around the world, since this girl is getting desperate and I am not afraid to admit it. I already have plans for the different places this weekend to make out with at least 1 stranger.

Why not? I'm single! 

Americans look at sex in a little taboo way. I don't think as many people open up and talk about it as they do in other countries. I visited Spain a few years ago there was 4 naked women and 4 naked men rubbing themselves with this oil...granted I am thinking lube but they are completely BUTT NAKED!!

I am 18 years old and seeing grown men's penises! 

it was awesome

I ask my Spaniard girlfriend what the commercial was...

bug spray.

NO JOKE!!

But if that was ever shown in America you would have the church group people, elder moms, and just plain haters all over the media about how it is a disgrace to show the human body on TV.

Shut the fuck up.

I was a bikini barista for 2 years, I have seen all these protesters and they all look the same,  it's comical to say the least because you know all of these women probably haven't had their own picture taken in years for they are afraid of their own appearance. 

So SEX around the world

I swear I could have been the star in 50 Shades of Grey a few years ago and been a lot more X-Rated.

I love it. 

In Guam there are men who are paid, this is their job, to go around the country and have sex with virgins as Guam's law forbids virgins to get married. 

SIGN ME UP!!!! if the boys I get to deflower look like this!

Ho Ho HUMP ME!

In Colombia a woman can ONLY have sex with her Husband. Never a partner before or after. Then on their first time of consummating their marriage, her mother must be present in the room



Oh hey mom don't mind while I put my finger in his butt.

Oh wait. is that normal? no. well judge me then!

SANTA CRUZ, BOLIVIA
A man can not have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. 

-Was this seriously a problem?! Thank god my mom and I don't live in Santa Cruz cause we would be F$%^ed...

too far? 

My dream job had been found right in Liverpool, England!

You are allowed to work topless in Liverpool, England but only if you are working in a tropical fish store!

-Finding Nipple Nemo anyone?


I have a few US ones as well for the different states, if you live in any of these states, will you please do these and tell me if you get arrested

ROMBACK, Virginia

It is illegal to engage in any sexual activity with the lights on.

Where the F are you expected to give a quick handjob at when you meet a guy in a bar?

WASHINGTON STATE!!!!

There is a law against having sex with a virgin under any circumstances including the wedding night.

-Good thing I am huge slut!

NEVADA

It is illegal to have sex without a condom

-I want to know where they come up with these and how they catch people?!

You take the cake Nevada
-It is illegal for any member of the Nevada Legislature to conduct official business while wearing a penis costume while the legislature is in session.

what the fuck.

So needless to say I am thanking my lucky stars I don't live in any of these places of I would be in a world of fuck. 

well I guess I wouldn't be if I followed the laws. 

I may have to visit some of these places and just see what happens. While I sit here drinking my vodka, water, on the rocks. I am going to research all the nasty things we are not "legally" allowed to do per Washington laws. 

then do them. All. this weekend. 





8 comments:

Whitney @ Everything Happens For a Reason said...

HAHA. You're hilarious! I agree that people are uptight about sex. I'm just like whatever. I'm no prude. LOL!

Dani @ Inspire. Motivate. Love. said...

Now I'm curious about what other Washington laws are out there. Where do people come up with this stuff?!

Traci said...

So are all the baby mama in Nevada arrested for clearly having sex without a condom?

Very entertaining post!

Holly said...

hahahahaha finding nipple. I die. sooo funny.

Kenzie Smith said...

I sure learned a lot of interesting laws today! Haha! Girl you crack me up :D

Jamie said...

Oh my gosh. Mom in the room?! I die.

Lizzy said...

Do they still have those bikini coffee places up there?! Last I heard from my sister, the girls had to cover up more and couldn't wear just tassels and a thong any more! They had to wear more than that! They need those down in California. It'd be a good business!

Hanna said...

A penis costume?? Really? I would love to know the details of the incident that prompted that law! Hope you had a fun weekend! LOL