5 Funny/Embarrassing things in my life

OK so as now most ALL of you know I have sweaty armpits to the fact that I do get botox injections and I am actually feeling really good about it, since I received a lot of "fan mail" can I call it that? I'm going to anyways to make me feel more popular. There are so many other girls with the same problem as me and even worse! I feel your pain and we can be schweddy bitches friends together someday drinking margaritas on our own private sweddy island

(I have spelt "sweaty" 3 different times)

If you haven't seen my schweddy pits it is here

That would be my number 1 in things that have corrupted life in someway or another...

Numero 2...


I was on my way to work in downtown Seattle...it would take me over an hour to get to work each day. 
Well I am not a coffee drinker. ever.





So one morning I decide to hit the Starbucks and get a breve white chocolate mocha.

You know Seattle invented Starbucks


I get halfway to work on highway 99 which is basically a huge bridge, there is no getting off until designated areas that were way far away from where I was. So even when you are drinking your coffee and have to poo...yes. no stops.


I pulled over on the side of the HIGHWAY! and had to poo....well there is no where to hide even behind my door, and it was coming now.
Luckily...
I had a Safeway bag in my car, opened the passenger door and squatted inside my car, legs on the outside and did my business in a plastic bag. 


barf now.


The only time I ever littered and left the plastic bag on the side of the road.

Numba 3.

Bowling night with the ex boyfriend

I go out bowling with a bunch of my ex-boyfriends friends and I guess he was there too...dammit.

I was watching my ex throw 3 strikes in a row! 10th frame! I was so proud I ran up and smacked and grabbed his ass as hard as I could

I am talking full force, full fist grabbing his ass with dear life...

it wasn't him.

I guess more than one person can wear khakis and a white shirt.

Number 4

I sleep naked...I think most people do right? after a certain age you just start sleeping in the nude..?

I do. 

So I have just gotten my new puppy, am I seriously going to make her sleep by herself?!

hell no.

She sleeps with mama! I wake up a few hours later and something is "pinching" my nips I was literally half asleep and just thought it was the fiance wanting to get frisky...

Wrong

She was nursing. On me. 

I was a human cow for 15 seconds! 

Never sleeping naked with the dogs again.

Last but not least 

Numba 5!

Lounging pool side in Cabo San Lucas

There is an amazing water slide and I just have to go down it on my floaty, I'm on vacation the sun is out, I'm gonna live it up down here.

I go down the water slide; splashing into the pool climb back on my floaty and just float around the pool.

So much fun!

NOT.

All the vacationers are staring at me and I start to get big headed " oh ya I'm a good looking American, keep staring" 

Well while I am laying on my floaty thinking I look all good and sh!t, I finally look down once I feel a nice cool breeze roll by, my stop was pushed up right above my tata's

I'm laying there with my nunga nunga's just hanging out for the whole world to see and thinking people are staring at me because I was cute!

guess that's what I get for being conceded! 

I would love to hear other embarrassing moments!

Pay it forward

Last week as I was sufficing my hunger pains with the delishness of a Zip's peanut butter cup milkshake. I am waiting in line for a big rig truck that is practically ordering everything off the menu. 

I want my milkshake and I want it now!

As I am trying to be polite and inch towards his bumper to give him the nice, "Hey I am behind you let's hurry the eff up" type gesture, he finally moves.

I now can slurp up my fatty peanut butter milkshake, large by the way, which I don't need but this day I couldn't hold back

I drive up to the window and the lady tells me that there is no need for my $5 to pay for this delicious $5 milkshake....yes $5 for a milkshake and no there is no bourbon with it...

She hands me my shake and hands me this note

The drive thru worker also informed me that he not only paid for my order but also the 6 other hungry people's orders behind me!

I couldn't believe it!!!!

I know those who follow me on Facebook and twitter have already seen this! but I had to pass on the entire story. That made my day and paying it forward is contagious!

Source: weheartit.com via Colette on Pinterest

The next morning I bought the 2 people behind me in starbucks their orders as well, I can only hope that sometime in there say they went and did the same thing.

I am wanting to do a link up and ask that every blogger that visits here, link up and tell about a time when you have paid it forward, or to do it starting tomorrow. When you get your morning coffee, egg McMuffin, etc. help the person out behind you. 

Source: etsy.com via Kaylan on Pinterest

Let's start this trend this week and I can not wait to read about how you helped one person and how great it made you feel!

Schweddy beezy

I have had some girls who follow me on twitter and who are also my facebook friends ask me about my posts on my Hyperhidrosis

Hyperhidrosis can either be generalized or localized to specific parts of the body. Hands, feet, armpits, and the groin area are among the most active regions of perspiration due to the relatively high concentration of sweat glands

Well I have this condition...(only in my pits)

I am a sweaty beezy! 

It started when I was in Junior high

So cute right...

and sweating and I ruined that shirt which I loved so much with the yellow/brownish stains under my armpits!! I refuse to wear white for years cause I tried using prescription deodorant

Didn't work

I used a pill

this didn't work...and I didn't have odor..just sweating

So I had to go to the next step and get Botox in my armpits...

I have done this three times in a year! it should last 8 months but mine lasts about 4 because I am such a schweddy beezy

I get this entire bottle distributed into each armpit, 50 units each

They start by putting iodine in your armpit then dusting my armpits with cornstarch

You wait for 10-15 minutes in the room to see where you sweat at, the reaction with the iodine and cornstarch makes the area turn purple.

the guy was so close to my face the flash was super bright

So in a matter of 10 minutes I had that much sweat...I wore deodorant this day also...

they take the Botox and stick you in the purple areas, where mine is the doctor said its normal but some will get it right at the top of their pits, or even at the very bottom...so I am normal somewhere! thank goodness!

It felt like teeny little pin pricks, a paper cut hurts 10x worse that the pricks, I was in and out in 20 minutes!

Today I have a snow day from work, I never ever watch True Life...well today I flip to it...what do you know

True Life- i have an embarrassing condition and a girl on there had hyperhidrosis!

True Life - MTV Shows - Full Episodes

I do not have the type where I drip sweat, just the pitting out under my arms, I hate it and it does affect my day to day life with trying to hide it or having to wear a tank top and keep pit sticks in my desk at work and in my car. I don't really talk about it, but when I started too I found out many more people have it than I thought. I don't feel alone and I feel like I can help. My insurance covers the Botox since it is a medical condition, which makes my life so much easier as well. I told a few girls I would write a post on this, I am willing to answer any questions anyone has about it.

I am currently looking at a surgeon for getting my sweat glands removed because I am in that top percent and tired of being embarrassed, I really hope they hear my story and understand what I am going through to get this procedure done.

Tattoo Link up!!

I am one addicted beeyotch to tatted up ladies and would love to be known as the "illustrated woman" one day..but not before my wedding, just don't need all that color and art in my white dress..but after i am going apeshit with tats!

Who doesn't love tattoos?

old people?

mothers?

fathers?

doctors?

Well screw them all because I think this is the BEST way of expressing yourself and also adding sex appeal to your body!

when you have those "peek-a-boo" tattoos you can not tell me that guys don't think "hmm I wonder how far that goes down" or "what's left of that tat I can't see"

Now even I want to know what is further down her back!

Now I got my first tattoo the day I turned 18,i couldn't wait one more day after having my beautiful cousin Raven who always told me since i was little how awesome they were, I knew I had to have one to be like the one I admire but also for myself

So my first tattoo was after  my favorite animal and also the one of the very few mammals besides humans that have sex for pleasure...I guess that was the added bonus!

(i regret not putting lotion on before this)

Then just a few short 3 days later, my dad said I and some girlfriends could go bowling, so daddy gave me some money to pay for a couple games of bowling and shoes for 3 girls...well too bad we got to the bowling alley late and they were all full...but the tattoo shop was right down the street...so voila!

on my lower left hip I got a hibiscus, I guess my "reasoning" for this one was because my dad was born in Hawaii and since he paid for it without knowing I might as well make a tribute out of it right...

he didn't think it was amusing as I did

now it was time for the 3rd one

Which Raven and I got done together

on our way to the tattoo shop

Raven getting her dragonfly

me getting my butterfly

us with the tattoo artist and she was so freaking sweet!

finished product...

The I was a freaking moron and added my EX fiance's initials

There is a KDS if you can find it...that will be covered before my wedding...

(Brandon said he wants to cheese grate it off my foot)

Then to get my 4th which is my pride and joy

it means "older sister" in Japanese cause my cousins are Japanese and my little sister is my pride and joy! 

so next to this one...this means that my sister is going to get "little sister" when she turns 18...

my mom doesn't like this idea

Now to the...what number are we on..?

oh yes the 5th...

Which was the most painful thing I have done! the ribs are the worst and I would tattoo the rest of my body but not my ribs!

Don't mind the bra...hard to keep these nungas out of this picture!

this I got from a necklace that I bought from some street rapper in downtown Seattle on the waterfront...but I loved it!

ok last one...or is it....?

On my inner bicep (which are huge btw!) I have my fleur di lis! I am that much of a Saints fan i had to have them live with me forever! it was a whim tattoo but i love Zebra print so I had him incorporate that in there as well...

Now...I have 1 more...

wouldn't you like to know where it is...

well sorry I can not show it on here since Brandon won't let me put it up even though I could cover my laday parts and you could see it..but I have a teensy little writing on my umm "pants button line" that says "Thank your Lucky Stars"...you can say how slutty and whoreish that is...and if I saw that on someone I would think the same thing...but then again i totally regret it and think it is so funny the look on people's faces when they actually see it.

I'm not a hooker..just have a sick sense of humor

I will give you that little sneak peek...

Goodnight!!!

Weekend in Half of Heaven

So as you all know by now the stupid 49ers beat my awesome Saints in which I actually had a cry fest.

Yes I am that big of a football/Saints fan. Don't judge

My dad comforted me and he was pretty disappointed too as he had put $50.00 on the Saints to win by 4, even if they did win at the 4th quarter touchdown, they still would have only won by 3 points and my dad would have lost. But that was MY team and now I feel as if i got jipped out of a pre-wedding present of them making and winning the Superbowl. Next year right?!

How did everyone else's choosing go?

Also, I was in Seattle this weekend! yes remember this place

Click here

So I finally got to go home to have Christmas with my dad, which was absolutely awesome!!!

I although pity sometimes being an adult, wishing I could have barbies, polly pockets, and beanie babies...but I end up getting excited over

Quesadilla maker (say it in a Napoleon Dynamite voice)

and the best!!!

We used this on one section of our house  and it was so nasty and was FULL!!! I vacuum at least once if not twice a week! Obviously my other vacuum (which literally started smoking and burst into flame while cleaning one night, now my house looks like white trash with a broken vacuum out front) but I couldn't believe how much this thing sucked up!! and how nasty I feel now that I lay on that floor and play with my puppies!

Deep cleaning house stat!

After I opened all my gifts the most amazing Dad in the world took me shopping, where we bought me new snowboard boots, gloves, and a cue purple helmet!

 I WILL NOT go snowboarding without a helmet and a drank! 

I had the most amazing weekend and then come to find out I received a 

award from my bloggy girlfrand Miss Holly

The Liebster award started in Germany.

                      The word "Liebster" is a term of endearment; meaning "beloved person". 


                The aim of the award is to bring attention to blogs with fewer than 200 followers.

The rules for accepting this award are simple:

1. Show your thanks to the blogger who gave you the award by linking back to them.

2. Reveal your top 5 picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.

3. Post the award on your blog (right click to save to your computer, than upload to your blog.)

4. Bask in the love from the most supportive people on the Internet – other writers.

5. And best of all – have fun and spread the Karma!

So my top 5 are as follows!!

1. Sabrina-Sabrina Says

2. Erica-Young and Fabulous

3. Amy- Suburban Blender

4. Amy- Tales of a Small town girl

5. Ashley- Run with me

These are my top 5 that I talk to more than others, who I feel like I could honestly talk about anything with! This goes back to Miss. Holly as well but I wanted to pass on to 5 different loves!

Hope you all have a great Monday!

Signing off with my dad and I!

oh and him and Lola

GEAUX SAINTS!!!

When my team comes marching in

I'll be yelling, "Geaux, Fight, Win" whether watching from the stands or watching from home, there's nothing like playing at the Dome.

Proud to wear my black and gold, rooting for my team never gets old!

No matter what the situation....

I'm proud to be a member of the WHO DAT NATION!!!

I was very sweaty and excited in this picture, sorry for the shinyness

I can not believe it has been 2 years since I was in New Orleans watching them play against the Atlanta Falcons (insert boo's here)

I am a Seattle girl and fully love my Seattle Seahawks no matter how terrible they are, I think everyone should at least love their own team. Except for people in Pittsburg. You can just take your Steelers and.....

anyways...

I learned to love the Saints BEFORE they won the Superbowl, I was not a band wagon jumper...but I will say the FIRST thought that made me want to be a Saints fan was because I saw...

Sean Payton...

I think he is so cute for an older guy, baby face, cute smile, and on his interviews I love his laugh

So I decided I wanted to be a Saints fan, THEN I loved the fleur di lis, and wouldn't ya know it that's their symbol!

So when the Saints won the Superbowl I couldn't believe it I was so ecstatic I started screaming bloody murder and humping the TV

Oh ya...Saints l<3 ver!!!!!!! to the max!!!

So i couldn't believe when i actually got to go to the Dome itself and watch them play. I was like a little girl who gets to go to Disneyland...or get a pony...one of those...

The Dome!

I couldn't resist

You can't tell but the eyeshadow is black and gold..that's why I look so squinty

So this trip was amazing being able to be at The Dome with my Saints! 

Until...Right when I got there....

I asked someone to take my picture (the very first one) and I fell BACKWARDS! down the stands 3 seats on my back! the red mark in the middle and side were bruised and I ended up cracking a little of my spine.

I know I am not the only one who has a spill in this city..maybe it is cursed, you should ask Lindsey 

But still the most amazing city I have ever been in and cannot wait for someday to live there!!!

Let's go Saints!!! let's stomp these 49ers and go to the SUPERBOWL!!! I haven't humped a TV in 2 years!!!