Happy Birthday Hooker! I mean Lauren

So I don't want to brag but I seriously feel my whole family is blessed with gorgeous girls! We are all so much alike in personality but all very exotic looking.

From what I hear also if you recall I did a "what animal do you look like" because I kept getting told I look like some exotic jungle cat. 

I will take that as a compliment

So, my youngest cousin, Lauren is turning 19 this week. We were never super close but since she is becoming a dirty pirate hooker like myself I have decided to attach myself to her.

She lives in Portland and is going to college, living it up big time where she makes me feel like a big fat loser.

this is her everyday...

oh her and her friend just "hanging out"

Umm just having fun...

She is drop dead gorgeous!  All the freaking time! My mother told her she needs to ugly herself up for my wedding because I am afraid she will out do me.

I don't think she could ever be ugly if she tried.

 But in spite of me wanting her to ugly herself up I did decide to buy her a birthday present

Since she is asian I bought her this panda play-doh

I couldn't find the play doh online so I just a did the picture to suffice...

But in the panda play do it has a little body and you cover it. Sort of like paint by numbers but you stick the play do in the right spots to create a panda.

Then a huge smelly marker.

She is in college and I think that is a definite need!

On top of all of it I had to write her a poem

my hand writing isn't the greatest but had to show everyone how legit my poem skills are

So I am deciding to open up my own poem writing business, so if any of you want me to write you a special poem just like this one I charge $5 a word.

bitches gotta make a living! 

All in all...Happy Birthday to my cousin Lauren, I hope you love all your gifts and don't read my blog before you get them!