I feel like I have hit a mini mid life breakdown.
i am only 23 but it can happen right? 23 is MID twenties??
I have been put through the wringer at work! I work with people where everyone is out for themselves and could give a crap about the person next to them. I do what needs to be done I don't have the type of job to really "go the extra mile" but there haven't been complaints on what I do work wise.
The complaints are about me as a person
I am too friendly
hey I am really liking the new hair cut
I talk too much to coworkers about their personal life
oh how was your weekend?
I am too pretty
Not being big headed but I feel punished at work for being a good looking person
I worry too much about others well beings
To me: Mind your own business
when I am just trying to help or understand
I am too emotional
I want people to like me
I like to be fun and make people laugh
there is only room for seriousness
These are just a few of how I get made to feel in my place of work. I am not even kidding on the 'pretty' part. This is honestly where it hurts me the most. Working in a male dominant job has its ups and downs, but I get called to the front of the class because my looks are a 'distraction' my politeness and caring makes me a 'tease' I shouldn't have a conversation with my co-workers because that leads them on thinking I want them in more than a 'co-worker' way
I was sabotaged at my job while on my honeymoon and come back to find out I got written up for 3 different incidents. Although no one has the balls to tell me when I did something wrong on the spot.
Oh wait none of my write ups are for my work...they are all about me!
Criticizing my positive attitude, I must be serious, live and breathe my job cough cough would rather poke my eye out with a sharp stick
My job unfortunately will pick people out that are different and then rummage through every little thing. I swear they would try and write me up for my heels being too high saying it was a safety issue!
I have come home everyday since my honeymoon in tears, waking up wanting to think of reasons not to step in my office. I make myself physically sick each morning trying to get out of things.
Sometimes you need to step outside, get some air. And remind yourself of who you are and who you want to be
I am searching for who I want to be. Trying to find passions. I definitely need something new because I am gaining absolutely nothing from a job that puts limits on who I can and cannot talk to!
What I can and cannot say being funny, quirky, outgoing. I am SHUT DOWN! I am suffocating
I feel like I am starting out my marriage in a part of hell. No one wants a debbie downer but all I can do when I come home is bitch to Brandon about what I go through on a day to day basis.
I feel watched
I feel stuck
I feel unimportant
I feel like I am failing.
I was following Shalyn and I saw her chalkboard wall and it definitely inspired me
"Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work.
And the only way to do great work is to
Love what you do if you haven't found it yet, keep looking and Don't Settle!
As with all matters of the heart you will know when you find it.
Shay! This has helped me the last few days get through my days. I am searching for something new and trying to better my life.
Basically I want to have some ideas I am really not sure what I want to be when I 'grow up'
what do you do? what made you want to do this? Are you truly happy?